What is it about drama that is so addictive?
As soon as I reach a space of relative peace and feeling connected to myself, I miss the drama and want to push the panic button to make some drama to fill up the space.
It seems that weaning myself off the emotional highs and lows caused by drama is a process. Luckily I work as a Software Developer in South Africa so there is ample opportunity work with this.
I run two sometimes three teams of developers depending on what we are components we are building. This involves mentoring team members, coding as well as prototyping to come up with approach and design based on patterns.
The release schedules can be tough and shifting focus from one person to another and one activity to another, while still maintaining a meaningful focus is challenging. If I am not on the ball and make a few bad decisions, before I know it the wheels start to come off and then the next step is to go into a victim state.
Politics on top of it
Add to this, the current state of South African politics.
Over the last few years I have taken a much more keen interest in South African politics as the corruption advocated by the outgoing ANC president, Mr Jacob Zuma, is being exposed.
I think one of the reasons that I ignored politics previously, is that as soon as I start following it I get caught up in the drama. It is then so easy to take the next step and feel helpless and play the blame game.
One one hand, given the current state of affairs I would be fully justified in playing this game. One day there is hope for our country, then the next day it does not seem like it could get worse …. and then it does get worse! And then up comes the fear and uncertainty.
Dreaded Drama Triangle
One way I have been working with this, using the Dreaded Victim triangle is to look at my tendency to play the Rescuer.
For example, I am not responsible for Mr Jacob Zuma’s actions, but I can look at my role when I allow myself to be corrupted within my own life.
I can also assess each interaction I have with the people around me as to whether I am ‘saving’ them or helping them by helping them to help themselves.
And then my favourite is the endless source of humour that South African politics as well as my own folly provides.
Shifting the focus
However, even by shifting the focus from playing the blame game to a more enabling role of coaching, the emotional impact can and does still take it’s toll.
From time to time I make some space for myself, lie down quietly and do the Universal-7 coMra treatment using the Delta Laser.
It is amazing! First I feel my body relax almost instantly, the stress drains away and I become drowsy. I usually fall into a short sleep for about 30 minutes afterwards and after I wake up I feel refreshed and ready to tackle the next step.